Surrender, Not an Option

Sand in our Shoes

2012-01-24T19:43:00.000-08:00

Evangeline has finally arrived at the point in her life where she can have fun at the park. Previous to now she has been indifferent at best, pissed most commonly. How dare we put her down? In the sand? UGH!

First we tried the swings. She lost interest quickly.

North put down his shovel just long enough for her to scoop it up.

Then she started to get the hang of it.

"Hey North, I have your shovel. Huh heh heh."

"And it BLOWS MY FREAKIN MIND!"

We tried other non-shovel related activities. This did not go well. Mostly because it involved North actually touching her.

He was a good sport and tried, so I let him run off and play on the structures with other kids. Monkey see, monkey do.

"Hey Mom. I am going to play chicken with you and the steps at both ends of this tunnel. Neener neener. Which way am I going to go?"

"Hey Evangeline. And I am going to be saving this little picture for your senior yearbook. Neener neener. Be nice to mommy."

Happy New Year Cards!

2012-01-17T23:00:00.000-08:00

This year Christmas cards did not happen. AT ALL. It just wasn't going to be. Things were so delightfully chaotic I decided that New Years cards were going to be my goal. These I managed a mere week into 2012. That to me is success. It took a little longer to get the prints and then mail them out to everyone, but I am pretty sure they have all been received by now.

If you didn't get one please don't be cross. I had limited resources and pretty much only family received them. In an effort to share the "love" I am posting my card and letter here and making plans for a more efficient and comprehensive update this next holiday season.

Click picture to view it larger!

Greetings and welcome 2012!

I can’t say I am all that unhappy to see 2011 come to a close. It was a year filled with joys as well as personal hardships. As a family we have decided to try to focus on 2012 as full of boundless opportunity. I hope you have taken the time to reflect on what is important to you as 2011 ends, and have set some goals and perhaps dreamed a few dreams. I know it may sound cliché, but what better time (or excuse) for realigning your priorities and taking control of your own happiness?

Over the course of 2011 we have had some extremely wonderful and extremely sad times. My father Jeff passed away in October and left behind seven daughters whom he loved dearly. I am so very thankful that we had traveled to visit the De Boer side of my family in Washington earlier that summer. He and Evangeline were able to meet one another. Reconnecting with all of my sisters and seeing my grandparents was so wonderful, even if it was too brief. Out of the sadness of his death has emerged an even stronger bond between all of the sisters and I feel so full of love and adoration for each of them. I think of this as his final gift.

The joys of this past year help to lighten the weight of the sad times, and it is on these that we strive to focus and remain thankful for. We have enjoyed travel, weddings, sisters, and been excited about babies on the way. (No, not me. Don’t you even THINK it.)

When 2011 dawned it was full of the trials and happiness that come with having a newborn baby in the house. Evangeline put up a good fight and managed to hold out approximately ten months before giving us a full night’s sleep. But even while sustaining herself on a regiment of only catnaps, she managed to grow and thrive. We have just passed the big 1-YEAR mark. The tooth count is up to eight, the walking speed is just shy of warp, and the catchphrases include Kiki (kitty cat), Woof (dog), and Dada (which can mean both dad and mom, cup, I want that, pick me up, etc.)

North, now 4 and a half, has been continuing to delight and test us with his exceptionally strong spirit and creative mind. This year he has made leaps and bounds in his already strong use of language (both appropriate and inappropriate) and has started using his imagination in both play as well as in explaining how those M&M’s disappeared from my purse. (For the record, his little friend Michael. No, a monster! No, a dinosaur alien eeeek!!!! apparently came over and ate them while we were all still sleeping.) He is getting so grown up now, he is counting like a champ and doing basic math. He writes his name, blames his gas on stuffed animals, and is learning to tie his shoelaces. What a big boy! North is HIGHLY knowledgeable about things such as artificial colors (which we eliminated from his diet this year) and out of his own personal concern for the health of their children, will advise mothers whom he sees at the park that they are feeding their kids the wrong types of foods. He also says he can drive the car if we would only let him show us, and “knows how to count to sixty-forty million.”

As for Ed and I, we have both finally reached our thirties; have glasses, and sore back or knee problems. Despite our obviously rapid decline into retirement age and decrepitude :), we are continuing our respective careers in the field of education. He is expanding his orchestra program, the types of activities and performances they do, and is even working this year as the co-chairman of the Southern Arizona Honors Orchestra. Recently Ed’s has taken on more private students, and performs in a local community orchestra on the cello. I have written a few academic and teacher-training courses, continue to quality audit the teaching staff at my high school, and generally try to keep work, kids, and home all balanced enough to avoid being cast in a “very special episode” of Hoarders or Supernanny. Organization and clutter reduction is on my list for 2012! I will get there, eventually……… Just promise me that if you ever come to visit you will never, ever look in the closets.

Love, The Robinsons

The Art of Friendship

2012-01-15T12:26:00.000-08:00

I am down today. It isn't just the light drizzle or the end of the weekend blahs that teachers seem to fall victim to (technically we still have one more day.) It is because I am feeling particularly lonely.

My family is here and I love them very much. But I am missing that connection to others that is so essential, especially in a parent's life. The friendship that reminds them that they aren't just a mom or a dad, that they have interests and things they enjoy doing outside of the house.

You forget how much you enjoy moments alone with others until you are NEVER ALONE. Sitting having tea together, or getting out for a walk can do the heart so much good. My husband IS one of my best friends. He is always there for me, and I love him dearly. We don't get much time to be alone with one another due to our alternating work schedules, and I know that is important. We are working on that. But this post is about non-partner friends.

I am a person who believes that one other person (spouse) cannot be the sole means for your happiness. I don't want to "girl talk" with him. We have many interests between us that are not shared. Working from home and lacking those interactions with other adults, I find good personal friends to be absolutely essential. And I do have some extremely awesome friends, several of whom I am lucky enough to be related to. But they all live REALLY REALLY far away. They aren't just going to drop by, or suggest I do the same. There is no casual lunch or meet up at the bookstore because we both have some free time. No one to just show up for dinner because I am making their favorite soup.

When the going gets tough I know my dearest friends would drop what they are doing to help me. They would lend an ear if I was having a horrible day and take my random and unscheduled phone call. Hugs would be distributed if I needed them. But they aren't here. So I have tried to make other friends. Ones that are here. Success has been varied.

In reflecting about why this is, it comes down to differences in friendship styles. No matter your own take on friendship there are some basics that need to be observed.

Please don't get me wrong. This post isn't about calling any one particular person or set of friends out on their behavior. It is because I have been spending a lot of time lately thinking about the art of friendship. If you are my friend and see something on this list that you feel is aimed at you, it isn't. Do I myself do these things 100% of the time? Of course not. But I guess my point in putting this up is that I try. Every single day I try to practice these steps. To be a good communicator. To let my actions show my love for my friends, even in the smallest of ways. To try to keep the art of friendship alive.

1. If a friend calls/texts/emails you - call/text/email them back. Even if it is hours later. Even if it is to say you will get back to them later, that you are busy. SOMETHING is better than nothing.

2. Don't be flaky. If you say you are going to be somewhere, be there. Plans get canceled. Shit happens. And if you are a parent, shit in particular happens A LOT. But if you commit to something, try your hardest to be there. Showing up cannot be overrated. Dependability is important in so many areas of life, friendship included.

3. Don't just show up for the "fun" things. Show up for the crappy things too. Help people move. Have a laundry folding party with an overwhelmed mom. Bring over sandwiches and let the kids play so you can have the world's most interrupted conversation ;) Run errands together. Watch their kids while they go in to see the doctor. Odds are your companionship will make the crappy things instantly better for your friend. Your time and presence is a really special gift. One that is much better than anything you can buy them.

4. Listen

5. Don't always wait for THEM to contact YOU. Nothing can make a friendship feel more one sided than a single person making all the effort. Make time to connect and initiate it.

There are tough times in life when all you can do to get through is hang on and simply survive. We all have them. It is during these times that you need your friends the most. If everyone plays by the rules, you shouldn't ever have to feel alone.