A little crazy

This is just a quick little video for those of you that may not have seen North lately (isn't that everyone). Okay. So it is 3 mins long.... but still, it is a little part of our day together. You will get an idea of the brand of crazy wonderful he is. What a little monkey.

North goes to the zoo & I didn't have the swine flu

There were a lot of fun activities I got to miss out on this last week that I am somewhat bitter about. I didn't get to hang out at Organ Stop Pizza, and I didn't get to go to the Zoo.

North and the Zebra.

But, I got to hear all about them. And honestly, not knowing what kind of sick I was, was more than happy to keep the little guy as far from me as possible. There have been several swine flu deaths in this region of toddlers and that freaks me out. Plus, who wants a shrieking and jumping little monster attacking you when you are for certain on your deathbed?

ARGH. SWINE FLU

At one point I did really feel as if my body were going to give up on me, but it passed and I am once again at the wheel of Ship WAHM (work at home mom).

You know that is really me right?
I am not fooling anyone.

I would like to clarify on S.S. WAHM there are fewer occurrences of hot pants and outrageously catchy pop songs. Or are there......? I leave that decision up to you. What do you think?

I am digressing... and not grading papers. Shocking. Anyone want to get ready for Christmas early this year? I am suddenly in the mood for merriment. Maybe it is this picture.

My Musical Education

I realized today after listening to Pandora Radio that I am a musical moron. I know diddly squat about myself and my own personal music tastes. Ask me my favorite music and I suppose it all depends on my mood, what I can actually remember of my CD collection, and if I have had enough sleep that day. My answer is never consistent. If you asked me to point out a theme in my music I would lamely answer....80's music? (with a very stupid expression on my face). I think I still like 80's music but it is safe to say I have finally moved on. **the cheers of my adult friends are deafening**

I know several people however that have very refined and very well defined musical taste. They know what is good and rarely when I am around them do I wonder what the hell we are listening to. I wish the same could be said about me. Sorry yalls.

Were genius mixes recently introduced by Apple with people exactly like me in mind? I think it is a sad reality. I need the machine to tell me what music I am in the mood to listen to, and what albums I should check out next and that hey, yeah, they are actually all related.

So, after listening to Pandora for about 2 hours today I realized something. I do have very specific taste and apparently it is not at all what I thought it was. At all. And they are all related for the most part. As I sat there astonished and listening, I realized how much I liked everything that played and how well suited these groups were for me.

I have created other stations before with different artists, but it is always a crap shoot. I end up rejecting just as many as I like and get the worlds most boring playlist. I have messed around with the features and functions a lot just to see what trends would emerge. In the past I was not so successful. Let me tell you what came up today.

Muse*
Coldplay*
Keane
Radiohead
The Killers*
Franz Ferdinand*
Modest Mouse*
Mezzanine
The Beatles*
Weezer*
Incubus
Silversun Pickups
There were many more but it is late and I am tired. Shut up!
* = artists of who I already own at least one album. So why then was I so surprised by all of this? I suppose it is because I had never put it together before.

This was all harvested after putting in Muse as my music choice. I have enjoyed Muse very much in the recent past and love their new song Uprising. I am linking the video here. I actually prefer to just listen. I found watching it actually took away from it for me. It all seems so drab. I mean, props for the scarf, but I could use a little more color, accessories, and makeup please.

I like my male rockers just a tad bit more over the top. This feels so sedate compared to what I imagine when I listen. Then again - I do have an uber crush on David Bowie. This could be the reason for my concern about the lack of glitter. For a related example (and the chance to put the word orgasm in my blog) the Queen & David Bowie song Under Pressure nearly gives me a glam rock induced orgasm every time I hear it. It never loses its magic for me.

** mad props if you can name this movie

So, I am leaving a few of the more musically sophisticated of my friends in charge of this project. Get to it! Think of the child. PLEASE.

And then there was October

I have been absent for a while. Um, 25 days exactly. In my attempt at not "complaining" and "venting" I realized I had no motivation to blog. I don't want to be negative but when that is all you have flowing out of you - it is hard to post something funny or creative or.... shouldn't you be grading papers or something? So yeah. That is how this past month has gone. I feel it was sucked from me. I will never get that month back again. Time to move on to October.

In regards to work I am kinda caught up. I am going to survive (at least that is my current outlook). I get half day help this next week and then all day help the week after in the form of my husband being on "fall break". For those of you living outside of the surface of the sun this is a 2 week break that teachers get after 10 weeks of class. Wait... I am a teacher in said region, where is my break? Well, the powers that be told me to suck it! Okay, maybe it wasn't worded quite that way. The powers that be kindly informed me that we are a true year round school and that I get to work from home, ohandtosuckit!

On this topic, do you know what else sucks? Growing out short hair. At some point it is inevitable that you will look like you have a modified sort of mullet. We have reached mullet stage and my hair dresser and I attempted yet again today to try to "keep the length", yet let it grow. UGH. So that means I still look pretty damn shaggy. But the color is nice and for that I am thankful. The styling of it takes serious hijinks to prepare for public viewing. Leaving the house rarely happens though (suck it! remember?), so I can mourn my mighty mullet in solitude and pajama pants. You know when all other clothing feels uncomfortable you are spending too much time in your pajamas. Wait... also when you get fat. Siiiigh.

Here, we can gain our "winter weight" in the summer. We can't even leave our house at night because it can be 100 degrees at 10pm. We pork up okay? We also get cabin fever pretty bad. I cannot wait for those other glorious months. November baby - I am looking at you! We can hike and take family walks and I can go get the mail without having my skin start peeling instantly. North can start playing at the parks and free entertainment will once again be ours. This kid has the cabin fever of 10 kids. 10 kids on crack. But who can blame him? I certainly, 100%, most definitely understand.
Exhibit 1:

Children of the 1980's

Yes I needed to clarify the 1900's. I didn't want you to think I was vampire or all zombie. Lawwwwd knows that is entirely possible in this neck of the woods. Whether they believe it, dream it or are actually it we live in quite the neighborhood. Hey, anyone wanna buy a house?

I was picking new books out to read to North at his nap time that I thought might interest him. Mostly things with lots of emotion or things that go "varooooom" are best. Oh, and those damned elephants. Any elephants. Hoards of elephants. (#*@&@)# elephants.

We have a VERY large collection of books from my husband's childhood, a small collection of books from my side, and many gifts North has personally acquired as well. (Note: I was told by Ed last night our collection is not even half the book collection he had growing up. We are of course entitled to this collection for our child whenever it can be attained. I am unsure whether to be delighted or terrified. In my mind I can only picture the ceiling of Granny's roof and the swayback shape it took under the weight of the family library.)

It is very easy to see from the several little gems that I am showcasing here that we were children of the 80's (no, little Jimmy, not the 1880's you royal little shit.)

So without further ado I give you titles that you would only see coming out of "our time". (Did you catch the Goonies reference? The really sappy emphasis? You did? Oh good.)

Yeah, you see that? Not only was this popular movie turned into a children's book, but it had also become a "Hit Saturday Morning T.V. Show!" This was sort of the beginning of the phenomenon where you could also find movie related toys at fast food restaurants. Oh multi-level marketing.

Also please take note of the numbering system on the top left. This was to keep all of the books in order. Notice the number... it is not the highest by far. My husband may not have had Nintendo but he was rich in books. My childhood was similar and I think that effing rocks!

Then you have Alf... a true 80's icon. I feel like I need to sit down with a nice jar of cold cream to really get the most out of this precious duo of stories.

Anyone "our" age would instantly recognize the origin of these kinds of books being that of the Scholastic book fairs that were held twice a year at school. I wanted every kitschy poster of a kitten, every ridiculous Lisa Frank bullshit they could possibly sell me. My mom was wise enough to allow me a book or two, but put a cap on my spending. It could have been disastrous. I had a similar collection of ridiculous girl type books to match this amazing Hulk Hogan travesty (wait, is use of the word travesty here in this manner an oxymoron? Or irony? Hmm. Regardless, I saw The Hulk in person at a WWF wrestling match in Texas in the late 80's. Sweet. I also saw Sunshine. I rock. I know.)

Moving on.... Fa - La - Lala - Lala - Falalalalaaaaaa! What DO Smurfs do all day? Answer? Ask Smurfette. She knows. I'm just sayin.... wink wink nudge nudge... know what I mean? Know what I mean?

Oh the non-stop marketing to the buying power of the market under 10 years of age. I bring you the Muppet Babies. Where Kermit, you poor little anal retentive square you, was the leader even in diapers. I personally think they were in a foster home setting with purposefully unidentified and generic "Nanny". I bet they also had an unlisted phone number.

This was a set we also owned (I think this was a national sort of book club for kids mail order deal). I LOVED my Fraggle Rock books and remember owning them in Texas (so 9 and under.) We seem to have similar sets. But Ed's weren't "loved" by two kids after him so his are pristine. I have no idea where mine have been dragged off to.

And this last book I have included for all my byotches. It was part of a Serendipity Book series that I was head over heels in love with. The illustrations were everything a girl would love. There were plenty of cuddly animals, horses, unicorns & pegasus, dragons and butterflys. They usually had a moral... but I doubt I ever noticed the morals. PRETTTTTTY PICTURES **drool** I think I had maybe 2 or 3 of them but oh was I covetous.... soooooooo covetous. I know there were more out there. Mine were also "loved" dearly and are in pretty rough shape. But I hold on to them in hopes that someday I will have someone else to share them with. (Aja, that means you ya know... next time you visit... we will have story time. Then we will sit and trace the pictures onto blank paper and color them and name the horses .... and... and... then I will pull out the My Little Ponies.)

Christmas in August

We started talking today about our Christmas time travel plans. I kid you not I developed an immediate anxiety attack. Why? What about spending time with family would give me such a crazy whacked out reaction? No, not what you would expect - at least not entirely. The scenario that plays out in my mind isn't the overdone holiday movie where, OMG I have to spend time with the crazies and I will probably get drunk but then discover the true meaning of Christmas, blah blah blah blah blah. How predictable. I can honestly say it isn't really that.

My true concerns come from so many directions all at once you can see where I would start to have trouble breathing and my head would start pounding... or perhaps you don't see. Well let me enlighten you.

To leave here for Christmas we have to choose our traveling method. If we buy now, the costs are within $100 range of each other. Here are the pros and cons.

Pros for flying:

• 2 days of travel instead of 4.
• 2.5 hrs each way on a plane with a 2 year old.

Cons for flying:

• Once we get to Oregon we have to figure out a way to get around.

• Presents and packing and limited space. Surprise - everyone gets earrings for Christmas. EVERYONE. Here Robby, the dangley ones are for you.
  
• We would have to either drive over the pass/es in the snow or pay $170 for train tickets which take 5 hrs each way just to get between families.
• North is 2 now and we have to pay for him separately. He has to have a seat of his own on both plane and train.
  

Pros for driving:

• Costs slightly less in gas than airfare.
• Can stay the same amount of time as if we fly.
• We have a DVD player in the car.

Cons for driving:

• OMFG 22 hrs each way - 4 days of traveling with a 2 yo- kill me now.
• We have to pay for 2 hotel stays, 1 each way adding to the cost.
• Did I mention driving in the deadly deadly snow? Whether we borrow a snow safe car or not, I HATE driving in the snow. I probably won't be able to take anything for it by then anyway.
• NO DOWN TIME WHAT SO EVER FOR REGROUPING FROM WORK FOR VANESSA.

Please don't misunderstand me. I love my own and my husband's family dearly. I miss them so much it hurts and haven't been to Oregon in a long long time. My work schedule just hasn't allowed it.

HOWEVER - When we leave, especially for 2 weeks we have to arrange costly and frustrating animal care, for 2 weeks!!!! We went away once for 3 days and one of our dogs had eaten our couch and coffee table and they had dog sitters! With traveling during winter break we don't get any down time to just chill and enjoy each other not working and not stressing. Instead we do exactly the opposite, probably the most stressful family activity - traveling.

We will have to visit all sorts of new, not childproof places with a toddler that likes to break things and put weird stuff in his mouth and has started running away from us in the stores and hiding. We have to put up with a toddler that DOES NOT DO WELL with a change in schedule or routine. The toddler that had explosive vomit and diarrhea last time he flew and who is pissed off when he is restrained for too long. This makes me honestly itch all over my arms and neck. Holy shit.

We are in the middle of attempting to sell our house because we are so poor it is painful. The mortgage is becoming out of control. We will be trying to save money and start renting so we can afford to move home to Oregon sooner than later. We DO NOT have an extra $1000 sitting around with which to travel. We are not asking for handouts - just layin it all out there for some advice.

Ed's argument is that North needs to experience snow. I have a very visceral reaction to snow (if you haven't figured that out by now) that doesn't involve rosy cheeked babes and hot chocolate. No snow angels for me. It is more like snow nightmares where I wake up to find myself trapped in a snow globe with sadistic snow men and miniature Santas (don't even get me started on the Santas.) And someone just keeps shaking it and shaking it, making me blind and in this dream I also fall down a lot.

Ed just doesn't understand this. Snow gives him a serious semi. Snow is okay on TV, in a picture, or when seen from the warm enclosed sightseeing car on the train. I do not like to be in it, I do not like to deal with it and I am terrified of driving in it. It is August and already the snow is giving me mini-hives.

And lastly, a minor part of it honestly is the juggling of family. Our families are about has slipt apart and spread out as we could possibly make them while housing them in the same state. And not all family is blood related, but sometimes it isn't viewed that way. Those that are would be very hurt if you spent time with those that weren't. Some family might be hurt if equal time is not spent with all parties. Travel between all the different branches and back again just takes time away from everyone, making it all the more complicated and costly. I know most family would be just giddy to see us and spend any time we could give. AND, we never get to see everyone ever. But the logistics of it all make my head spin and my pulse race and did I mention the itching yet? Oh god the itching.

So we end up getting like 3 or 4 days with each party. But by the time you do this 3 or 4 times along with all the initial and final traveling - it is just SO MUCH WORK. We are a little family now right? Is it wrong to consider just staying put, saving our cash and sanity and enjoying Christmas together?

When I tried to discuss this option our conversation was ended. So I turn to you faithful internet. Am I crazy? Selfish? Too honest?

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To the residents of Eugene and everyone I have ever had to ride a bus with:



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